One night at a party both my husband and I separately described our wedding as “blissful.” I loved hearing him use the same word that I also used in different conversation only minutes before. I so appreciate that we both share that experience of our big day, especially because I’ve heard many people describe their wedding day in a completely opposite way. So I thought I would write a list of things– that you probably wouldn’t consider– that made our day supreme. We were on the beach in Mexico. Here goes.
1. Even though you love them disinvite all of your friends except one couple who you see as a symbol all the other friends you love in your life. This couple cannot live in your town. They must be a secret revealed only later in photos. This is because not inviting your friends to your wedding makes some of them very (temporarily) upset.
2. Likewise for your greater family—that includes your favorite uncles. Have your dad break it to one of them, who is already excitedly planning his voyage, that he is not invited. Include only your immediate family. This is primarily because you and your betrothed both despise party planning. You don’t want to waste a second of your precious day on these details. (Also the bride alone has 36 aunts and uncles not even counting cousins.) You want your day to be about truly enjoying each other and your commitment.
3. Buy whatever local flowers are available and that suit your fancy the day before. Also buy a hank of ribbon. On the big day arrange them yourself, alone, after your soon-to-be husband has left your apartment, while you are drinking hot chocolate and expecting your sisters to show up. Look at the view and sigh often about how happy you are to be marrying the man of your dreams.
4. In the morning before the wedding, be treated to a pedicure by your sister. Do it on the lovely balcony of your rental, overlooking the Mexican hillsides and ocean. Use the color gifted to you by your mother, aptly named “Plum Luck” which is just how you feel.
5. Even though you don’t know where the saying comes from, wear something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue… but not the lacey blue underwear your sister brought you because you want your undergarments to match for the surprise you’ve got planned later. (See number 8.)
6. Forget to brush your teeth. In order for this to work as a happy memory (or a memory at all) you have to have a sister who witnesses you say (in the car on the way to the ceremony), “Oh shit. I forgot to brush my teeth.” Said sister will then reply, “WHAT?! You forgot to brush your teeth? I would NEVER forget to brush my teeth on my wedding day!” She will also be the only reason you remember this event at all—because on your first anniversary she will say to you: “I still can’t believe you forgot to brush your teeth.”
7. After the wedding eat tacos on the street. Or at least be prepared to. Then when your parents decide on their own to organize a catered dinner following the ceremony you’ll be even more delighted. Stick to your no-planning guns though. When your dad tries to get you to weigh in on the menu ahead of time, be firm. Tell him, “Dad, chose whatever you want. As long as there are things for me to eat, I’ll be happy.” And mean it.
8. At the end of the ceremony surprise everyone by stripping off all of your clothes and running naked into the ocean together. You see it as sort of a super fun baptism of your new life together. Tell only your photographer who carefully stashes the sarongs you will need to dry off afterward.
9. Accidentally wear your hair in such a way that it will still look fine in the photos, even after you’ve dunked it in the ocean.
10. After a rich, meaningful, and also exhausting day commemorating your commitment to each other end it with a gigantic belly laugh. The following recipe works well: Late at night on the way back to your honeymoon palace from your wedding festivities climb an incredibly narrow and extremely steep several story flight of stairs that is etched into the Mexican hillside. When your now husband asks you, “Do you think we’re going to make it?” Reply with an honest, “I don’t know.” When you discover a couple at the top waiting to go down the stairs has overheard you and is laughing, cry yourself silly with laughter all the way home because they thought you were joking, but you were totally serious.