I’ve been pulling out two old tricks lately: my jump rope and apple cider vinegar. They are all part of my campaign to feel less fat.
Ugh, I hate the sensation of not feeling right in my body, and that’s how I’ve been feeling of late. It’s been 18 months now since my daughter was born. It’s not baby fat, it’s called ice cream fat. So, I did what any down-in-the-dumps-over-my-ice-cream-belly self-respecting woman would do: SOMETHING! Anything. Well, first I thought about it on the way to the store in my pajamas to get a pint of ice cream. I thought of songs and rhymes the whole way, “If your fatty and you know it clap your hands!” I clapped. I thought of Facebook posts like, “Feeling fat isn’t going to stop me from another pint of ice cream!” And regurgitated terrible childhood rhymes (with my twist) “Fatty fatty two-by-four, couldn’t fit through her living room door to sit her fat ass on the couch and enjoy her pint of ice-cream.”
Once I had a client ask me to write something about weight loss and I wrote this article called, “Feel good in your skin- here’s how.”
So of course I’ve been taking that advice. And getting out one of the tools that helped me get in shape before: my jump rope. Which led me in turn to the apple cider vinegar. Turns out jumping rope (especially after not doing it for so long) actually hurts my feet. But I’ve got to do something serious in order to burn away my jean muffin/ spare tires/ chunky handfuls of ripe fatty skin radiating out from my waist.
So here’s where the apple cider vinegar comes in. Soaking your feet in hot water with 1/2 cup (or so) of apple cider vinegar takes the ache out. It’s amazing. One of my aunts told me this years ago, and she was right. It was practically a nightly (and sometime middle of the daily) ritual for me when I was pregnant with my second child. Now, I pull it out for ass pumping occasions when I’ve just been “working it so hard” (said with a Richard Simmons voice) my feet need a little break.
So I’m using them both, and laying off the ice cream. And in the mean time making jokes with my friends about feeling fat. Last night it took the form of pretending we were making up song lyrics. I used my chorus, “Feeling fat ain’t going to stop me from this pint of ice cream.” And he launched into a rendition about bargain donuts at the grocery store. “Don’t listen to them,” he careened, “They’re not really a good deal!” I added that we should title that song, “Why do the donuts always talk louder than the kale?” We’re working on our new pop hit.
So, in a round about way, at least in my life, weight loss is related to apple cider vinegar. But you don’t have to feel like you need to lose weight to use it! It’s the best trick for feet, skinny or plump. Just sit your butt down, whatever beautiful size it is, dip your feet in a basin of hot water with vinegar, and thank my ice-cream belly for inspiring me to tell you about this.