I’ve never minded getting older. I’ve always just figured that’s part of the game right? You get to grow up. A George Clooney quote I saw once summed it up for me perfectly. He said, “I’m kind of comfortable with getting older because it’s better than the other option, which is being dead. So I’ll take getting older.”
Today I’m 41! And it feels great. I’m not sad I’m not younger. I’m glad actually. Eee gads (and I know no one really says that but it’s just what came to mind) I’m so glad I’ve graduated from my 20’s, and my 30’s. (Especially my 20’s.) And I love birthdays! Well, mine in particular. It feels like such a “me” day. It’s your totally legitimate day to celebrate yourself, internally and externally. I learned a long time ago that if you want to make your birthday special you can do it yourself– you are that powerful. Some years I feel more inclined to do this than others. Like last year, which was filled with party, poetry, stories, dancing, make-your-own mustaches, and more! Then, I celebrated for a whole month! With video.
I did it because something about turning 40 felt so special.
I’ve mentioned it to other women and they seem to have had this experience too. Forty seems like a big deal. One of my girlfriends who previously wasn’t really BOLD in her being, described that for her it felt like, “Move out of my way, I’m 40 now!” Like an “I’m not going to wait around anymore” feeling and an “if I like something I’m just going to do it” experience. She picked up an instrument and started playing music in a band. Another girlfriend mentioned that she suddenly felt like she couldn’t use the excuse, “I’m young” anymore. As my grandmother might have said it’s sort of a shit-or-get-off-the-pot birthday. (I’m sorry my grandmother was sort of crude.) But for me it just felt so fabulously wonderfully serious, in the best possible way. I noticed these things.
I felt like a snake shedding its skin. Like I just sloughed off pretending I was or wasn’t certain things. (Here’s a post I wrote about being a psychic that explains that a bit. ) And I just felt so, down to the business of being those things. Like, “Look, this is who I am,” even to myself, if that makes sense.
I lost all sense of looking away from who I was or even pretending I didn’t know what that was, and with that, the energy that I had extended toward this pretending or wondering went straight to the “being.” All of this transpired without effort. It felt like it just sort of happened. I felt the shift strong and true but I couldn’t really pin the change in myself on any external events, other than turning 40. It just occurred. I suppose much like a snake sheds its skin– it just happens when it’s time.
Perhaps at 40, you’ve been on this earth long enough to get a real sense of who you are. The average life expectancy for a woman in the US is approximately 80 years old, so maybe at this approximate mid-way point you change. You slough off the bullshit and just go with what you know. Because by now, you know stuff about yourself.
For instance I know that I like to do crafts, to create things. I have probably a dozen or so possibilities of things to make (with that many mediums) at my finger tips at all times. (And I have since I was about 4.) I’m a psychic. I know it might be weird. But I make no excuses, I’m hardwired this way. It’s how I serve others. I’m a writer. I have two published books. But mostly I’m a writer because I love to do it and I do. It’s fun and easy for me, and one of my favorite ways to tick by minutes in this now 41-year-old body.
Now I’m also a mother. That’s pretty new—like 3 ½ years new, so I’m still getting to know that part of myself. It’s a pretty steep learning curve, especially with kids so close in age and how they come out of the womb so needy. I’m still getting the hang of how to remember to be my centered-yogi-totally-connected-to-my-inner-pillar-of-strength me and respond to the constant emotional and physical demands that are placed upon me every couple of minutes within the frame of having two toddlers in your house. Hell, I’m still trying to learn how to find that place within myself amidst all those demands. But I have hope! I’ve learned other things. 😉
So today I officially change from 40, to “in my forties.” And I say, bring it on! And happy news!
Welcome to your 40’s me! If it’s anything like the feeling of complete acceptance of myself that came with my entrance into this decade I’m so excited for more. Love, Aimée Celebrate!