Have you ever seen a woman who is glowing? She walks into the room and the way she moves in her body and being just shines? Have you ever felt that way? Of course you have.
Have you ever put on an outfit and felt just totally dumpy? Like, “UGH!? I look so gross in these pants.” Or, “I hate this shirt on me.”
Have you ever had the same two feelings at different times wearing the exact same outfit?
One day, (particularly close to its new arrival in my closet) I think, “This dress is the bomb.” A year or more out, I think, “How dumpy!”
What is the one thing that has absolutely changed between these two extremes? My inner state.
Regardless even of what it truly looks like (which I might point out is all subjective, for you or anyone else anyway) you can walk into the same room wearing that outfit and feel fantastic, or total sucko. It’s true. I know I’ve experienced it. Many times.
That might be how I realized that this feeling of glow, of fantastic, of feeling so good in your being, is entirely about an internal state of being, and not about an outfit AT ALL.
So this is what I do.
And believe me, over the last few years I’ve had PLENTY of occasions to do it.
I was telling a friend the other day that by looking at my closet you’d think the only thing I like are cotton shirts in solid colors. Long sleeve or short sleeve I’ve got them in abundance. When the reality is, I was OVER those when my son was nine-months-old. I remember because I told my hairdresser. They were practical for a time, but god I’m so done with them… And yet, you wouldn’t know by my wardrobe.
I’m not going to give excuses for this. I’m not going to bore you with the why or hows of why my closet and my self still look like this. I’m going to tell you what I do when I have an outfit on that I sooo do not like: I change my inner space. I lock on to the feeling I have when I’m wearing something I love. I let go of the feeling of, “This is sucko. I’m sucko in this.” Usually I make a conscious choice to literally ignore what I am wearing– like not even think about it. Instead I focus on the vibe that I want to feel. Then I walk away from my closet and the mirror, and move on with myself.
I don’t even once think about how much I hate what I’m wearing as the day goes by—and I don’t make excuses for it to other people either. (Honestly I’m the only one who cares anyway.) I just access that “I feel great and I look great” vibe. In so many ways that’s what is truly important anyway. (Still, seriously, I will probably blog about a closet over haul when it finally comes.)
P.S. Do you know the song “Suddenly I See” by KT Tunstall? This shining vibe makes me think of that song. Here is the song and lyrics.
Aimée Cartier is not a fashion consultant, as you may have guessed. She doesn’t know the best shops to get great clothes. But she does know other things! She’s an author and a psychic. More about her work can be found on her website: www.spreadingblessings.com.