Some days I just feel like I have to shout things to get through to people. Today is one of those days—so bear with me! The following is my rant– intended I promise– for your benefit.
Maybe you already know this, but “in case you haven’t gotten the memo,” as a friend of mine is fond of saying. (He uses it off handedly to convey great truths.) So here is mine– the idea of “just pushing through to get things accomplished” is really just illusory bullshit. The truth is, we are much more productive and accomplished when we have taken time to recognize and see to our needs. If that means a day off from time to time, then so be it. Trust me on this, you are likely to be 10 times (okay don’t quote me on the percentage) more productive the following day after you’ve had your rest. I know. From experience.
Still shouting: If you need it, give it to yourself. You are responsible. Unless you are a child YOU are responsible for seeing to your own needs. Only you can truly know and understand what they are. So if you need the evening off to take a bath or read a book in bed starting at 7:30, do that for crying out loud! You don’t just deserve it; you need it. It’s okay to have needs. It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to understand what self-care you need to employ for yourself—but it’s even better to DO IT!
I’m going to tell you another little secret– when you pay attention to your own needs and make space for them by actually giving yourself the tenderness and nurturing that you need as you need it, you generally avoid giant meltdowns. You avoid crazy burnout episodes that take great lengths of time to recover from. Are you prone to those? Eh hum– read the above paragraphs again.
So next time you get that urge to just “push on through,” stop for a second. I’d say 70-75% of the time it’s a bullshit illusory thought that makes you feel like you might be making more progress, but really inside, the act makes you feel like crap-ola. Or worse, makes you counter productive or makes things take 10 times longer than they should– which happens a lot when you are already over done and you push through. If you’ve used up your quota for the year– that’s 30%– then it’s probably time to hit the snooze button, put your list down and go to bed early, or just freaking sit in your tub with some lavender oil and a candle.
I want you to be happy. I want to be happy too. That’s why I pay attention to my own needs. I take them seriously. Just like I take my husband’s needs seriously, my children’s, my friends, etc. You probably take other’s needs seriously too. You need to do the same for yourself. Truly, you’ll do it better than anyone else. Because only you know best what they are.
If you need an excuse you can “channel your inner Aimée” as my friends have said to me. That means, you don’t have to make excuses. It’s okay to have needs and to see to them. You don’t even have to hem and haw or think the world is going to cave in or big disastrous things are going to happen, or you are not going to succeed if you don’t push through and freaking GET THIS DONE NOW! It won’t. You’ll be fine. In fact you’ll be better after actually giving yourself the space and time to truly unwind, let loose, relax, re-juv-en-ate.
If you need to start right now by using the explanation, “Aimée told me I should,” that’s okay. For now. Because very soon, you’ll see from your own experience why this is truly the best thing you can offer your soon to be accomplished, successful, well-rested, happy self.
I’m sorry for shouting at you. But really I just want you to get what you need. So send me a selfie from your bathtub. Just kidding.