I know what it can feel like to be overwhelmed by your empathic ability. When I first started learning how to manage my ability I spent a year practically alone. I still connected with my friends and went out to potlucks from time to time but I was extremely selective about my social interactions. I hardly ever answered the phone. I simply needed to be alone. One of my good girlfriends still makes fun of me from time to time about it. She’ll say, “Remember that time you came [all the way to Colorado] to visit me and we went hiking? When we got to the trailhead you looked at me and said, ‘I need to meet you at the top.’ and sped off on your own.” Of course she loves me and she gets me so she didn’t take it personally—but from time to time she still gives me crap about our solo-hiking trip together. (We did walk down the mountain together for the record!) 🙂
Those were the years I was learning how to manage my empathic abilities. I didn’t have the hindsight that time passing affords me. I didn’t think to myself— “I need this year alone to understand who I am and how to manage my abilities—in years to come this will help me teach other empaths to do the very same thing.”No. I just thought: “I need to be alone right now. It feels right.” I also had an understanding that though I didn’t know why—it was important.
I know it sounds kind of funny to start of a post called, “Busting the myth that empaths need to hide away” with talking about how I essentially did just that! But I can say that these days (about 15 years later), I’m just as empathic AND I have a family– but I don’t hide. I don’t feel I need to. That’s because I have the tools I need to manage my abilities. I pay attention to my needs, know how to maintain empathic boundaries so I’m not downloading other people’s business all the time, know how to discern between what belongs to me and what is coming from outside of myself and clear my own energy when necessary. I understand and do the practices that keep me balanced and in harmony— in essence I have mastery of my empathic abilities now—it’s not them that have mastery over me as before. And you can have mastery over yours too!
Despite the fact that I understand the need to manage your empathic overwhelm by being alone— when I look at it there is still another important distinction between that year for me and the hiding I am addressing in this post. That year I spent alone was not about concealing myself from others. Even then it didn’t feel that way. It was about finding myself. It was driven by a fierce need to hear ME—not to block others. I’ve seen other empaths go through similar moments of laser focus on themselves in order to find themselves. I think it is important to say, those aren’t the ones I am speaking of in this post.
What I am saying is feeling like you are hiding ALL THE TIME, or need to for your own sanity is unnecessary. I’m talking about hiding from life, from YOUR life, from other people, in order to cope with your sensitivities. And I can tell you for sure that even though you are empathic, you do not have to hide to survive. And you don’t have to spend a year alone like I did if you don’t want to. It turns out I did it for you (well, and me). 🙂 I’d be happy to teach you the tools and practices I have been using for years so you can get back to YOUR life without feeling like you constantly have to hole up and say no to it!
I have many Empath Intuition University students who have started out my program in hiding. I remember one who was like, “I can’t fly. I can’t get on a plane or go anywhere because it is too intense for me– the airport, all those people.” Midway through our program she was texting us all from the airport in celebration telling us about what a HUGELY different and positive experience she was having with her empath tools in place. If she can do it—so can you.
I’ve seen many an empath who start hiding just out of a sense of self-preservation and I am here to tell you— you don’t have to. With the right tools you can be empathic, live IN THE WORLD, add positively to it, and FLOURISH. It’s 100% possible. I’m living proof – and so are many of my students.
Aimée Cartier is a psychic guide, author, and the founder of Empath Intuition University. She teaches empaths who are overwhelmed by their sensitivities. Through a 4 or 7 month program she teaches them in manageable steps how to understand their abilities so that they can work with their sensitivities (and not against them). This also leads them to getting and staying connected to their own power and knowing and ultimately being able to use their empathic gift to inspire themselves and others. More about her work can be found at www.AimeeCartier.com.