FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), is it intuitive knowing?
I had a friend call me the other day in a moment of hesitation. He was like, “Do you have a second? I just need to talk this through a bit.” He told me how he had just found the perfect place to live (House A). His family loved it—it practically fell into his lap at just the right time and he was so excited about it. And then, just before he was ready to sign the lease on House A he was having a case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).
You see, there was another place too (House B)—that maybe could have been cooler for some reasons– and just before he was about to close the deal on House A (the one he and his family loved) his mind was like, “Hey wait! What about House B!? Would that be better?”
It confused him. He wanted to know— “Is this my intuition telling me that the one I am about to sign on isn’t the right place?” That despite all signs that House A was the best—maybe he had missed something and should really be signing on House B.
Because of who I am it was easy for me to use my sight and quickly look into it for him. And what I discovered was that in alignment with what he was feeling before his FOMO kicked in– House A was the best place for him and his family.
But his call made me think about the FOMO phenomenon– and do some personal investigating into it. Because it can be confusing when it kicks in.
This is the conclusion that I arrived at: FOMO is your brain. It’s its job to think of all the possibilities. That’s what it does. That’s what it is good for. As I scanned my memory thinking of all the times I have experienced FOMO I realized that it usually came after making a choice based entirely on my intuition– sometimes one that didn’t totally make sense in a logical fashion. I just knew it. Then my brain would kick in with, “Well have you thought of this? Maybe you didn’t look at it from this perspective. Are you sure that is the right choice?”
Maybe it’s because I didn’t use my brain to arrive at the original conclusion– maybe it felt left out of the equation! (I’m making that part up! But it does sound reasonable does it not!?) For whatever reason, in those moments your brain does what it does. It thinks of everything.
I reference this phenomenon in a different way in my book, Getting Answers: Using Your Intuition to Discover Your Best Life. In the chapter entitled, “Secret Ingredient #3: Fear Transformed” I talk about many of the ways that fear arises and what to do about it. I wrote:
I’ve included this chapter because I want to be up front about the fact that even if your answer comes from the highest place, you may still experience fear when you go to act on it, or even when you think about acting on it. Fear may come up, but do not take this as a sign that you’re on the wrong track. The only thing that fear indicates for certain is that your heart is still beating (probably rapidly), and you are still breathing in and out (probably very shallowly). The problem is not that we experience fear; the problem is when we allow that fear either to paralyze us or to dictate our actions.
Your intuition most often directs you in “yeses.”
Even the “No”s can look like “Yeses.” What I mean by that is even when you inner knowing is trying to direct you away from a dangerous situation it will usually do so by giving you a “yes” feeling. For the sake of an explaining metaphor, say you are in a dark alley and you have a choice to go two ways, unbeknownst to you danger lurks at one end. Your intuition doesn’t usually scream at you, “NO! NO! NO! Don’t go that way!!!!” It will guide you to the BETTER choice with something more akin to, “Hmmmm, I think this way [the best way] is better. It feels better.” By choosing the one that felt like a “yes” you may have avoided great danger, or many set-backs, or heartache or whatever your intuition was trying to prevent you from getting into—but it usually doesn’t usually guide you by showing you what awaits you down the bad path. More often it shows you the best path by giving you a feeling of opening, lightness, “yes” or goodness in one direction. That is the one to follow.
That is what my friend had about his House A. It aligned in SO MANY ways with a very intentional vision he had had for himself and his family. And yet, at that moment his mind was like, “Woah! Hold on buddy! Do you really know what you are doing?”
That’s okay. That’s the job of the mind. Especially if it thinks it’s being left out. 😉 You don’t however have to buy the story– even if it is on offer. It’s just another story. Have you ever seen that bumper sticker, “Don’t believe everything you think”? I love that one. Your mind can (and does) come up with all kinds of bullshit. And it may do so even when you are about to tread a path you intuitively know is the best one for you. But I know from experience when I ignore the mind chatter of creative what-if-crappy-ending scenarios and follow the “yes” I always win.
I can’t call to mind a single case where FOMO has ever really had or given good advice. It’s fear. It’s natural and human. It is NOT the standard mode of intuitive knowing.
So my advice? Ignore it. Head down the “yes” road even if your brain wants to give your intuition the run-around, or present another array of what-if-you-are-missing-out/but-have-you-thought-of-this-angle alternatives. If you follow the “yes” you will be missing out on something: The crappy road. 🙂
Love,
Aimée
P.S. I put almost that whole chapter of my book on transforming fear on my blog at one point. So if you want to read it you can do so here.
P.P. S. If you want to read about some other good and sometimes confusing characteristics of your intuition you can do so here:
“Do you want to know something tricky about your intuition?”
“Why live an intuitive life? What all successful people know”
“Generally speaking, your intuition doesn’t use fanfare”
“If you need a reason to trust your intuition here are four”
“A love letter to my intuition + all of the big things it has given me”
Aimée Cartier is a psychic guide who specializes in helping her clients discern what choices are in their highest and best interest so that they can have the information that need to act on and align with their own highest good. She’s known for her clear, accurate insight and her attention to practical details. She is also an author, and the founder of Intuition University– where she teaches her students to understand, enhance, and through experience learn to trust their own innate knowing. More about her and her work can be found at www.AimeeCartier.com.
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